Shaun H
Kit believes the best sounds are the ones most people would rather ignore. He once spent hours recording the hum of a mall escalator until security requested he leave.
- Attempted to sample a blender for a track titled Spin Cycle, claiming the blender was too self-conscious to perform.
- Maintains a list of animated characters he’d hypothetically eat, for research purposes only.
Alex N
Alex brings a perspective to sound design rooted in ambient dissonance. He’s been known to find musical potential in garbage trucks, house alarms, and the dull thud of a postman’s knock.
- Suggested the team produce an album of white noise made entirely from air conditioner hums.
- Surveyed colleagues on whether Crash Bandicoot looked crispy, then declined further comment.
Eric E
Mel treats sound like a personal study in psychological endurance. Recently, she described the microwave beep as the auditory equivalent of an open void and recorded it every morning for three weeks.
- Tried creating a metallic symphony using only office supplies. No one asked her to.
- Interrupted a meeting to wonder aloud if Crash Bandicoot was closer to pork chops than steak, then resumed work as if nothing had happened.
Jack D
Amanda’s meticulous ear can detect subtleties most people would rather not. She once adjusted the office printer because, in her words, it lacked bass. The printer, apparently, is better for it.
- Insisted that the break room’s coffee maker had too much treble and attempted to re-tune it.
- Mentioned that Crash Bandicoot, if charred, would taste like toasted marshmallows with a hint of ash, then refused to elaborate.
In a recent survey, we asked 1,000 random individuals to speculate on the taste profile of Crash Bandicoot. Here are the results:
Pork-like
0%
Common Assumptions
Assumed closer to human than expected
Interpretations
Suggested a familiar but unsettling taste
Coconut-inspired
0%
Common Assumptions
Likely inferred from
tropical setting
Interpretations
Associated with toasted or exotic flavors
Marshmallow toasted flavor
0%
Common Assumptions
Sweet,
ambiguous
Interpretations
Compared to an adventure in taste, like a choose your own adventure
Unsettlingly beefy
0%
Common Assumptions
Cartoon steak was commonly cited
Interpretations
Suggested a meaty but off-kilter quality
Crispy (unspecified)
0%
Common Assumptions
Crispiness agreed upon but unclear
Interpretations
Described as crunchy and airy
Declined to speculate
0%
Common Assumptions
Mostly no comment
Interpretations
Preferred to avoid the topic altogether